Doing Battle with the Little Hater

Sep. 16th, 2014 05:27 pm
owlmoose: (heroes - hiro dino)
[personal profile] owlmoose
So folks may have noticed that I haven't been around so much lately, and I haven't been writing a whole lot, either (this is particularly notable in my monthly writing goals posts). There have been some real-world reasons for my absences, but I've had other busy periods in my life without much time to sit down at my computer, and those haven't necessarily kept me from posting -- here when it was my primary posting spot, on Tumblr once I semi-migrated over there.

I've thought about this relative lack of posting off and on: why it might be happening, why I haven't been particularly motivated to change it. But it didn't really come into focus until today, when [ profile] tarysande reblogged a great post by [ profile] jadesabre301, "Jade's Guide to Not Caring About the Number of Notes You Get" (which I immediately reblogged with a link to "Internet Popularity and The Claw", which seemed an appropriate addendum).

In a way, Jade's Guide isn't anything I didn't already know. These are all guidelines I try to follow, to one extent or another. But it resonated with me right now, particularly Steps 6 and 8: Post When You Write Something and Write More. Because that's exactly what I haven't been doing: posting, and writing more. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized: my problem is The Little Hater.

The Little Hater is a concept presented by the always-briliant Jay Smooth, in a video about creativity and communication and getting stuck. I've posted about this video before*, but we can always stand to watch it again.

The whole thing is worth watching, but here's the key quote:

I’m sure there are people who wake up every day feeling confident that the entire world wants to look at their face and listen to them talk, but I’m not one of those people. When I’m in the groove, and getting work done, and I feel like I’m making the connection with you guys out there… it feels natural to keep showing up and maintaining that connection. But if I go too long without putting work in, and it feels like that connection is broken, there’s a little voice inside my head that starts playing tricks on me, and trying to convince me that the connection was never really there.

Jay calls that voice The Little Hater, and my Little Hater has been dogging at me for ages now, particularly around my journaling. That voice sends me into a death spiral of perfectionism and procrastination, telling me that no one really cares what I have to say, and it isn't really that good anyway, and if I'm going to post something in my journal now, it had better be good to make up for all the days (weeks, months) of inattention. So I'll start on something, but then get stuck on it and don't finish it (like the Agents of SHIELD post I started writing in June), or I don't bother to write it at all (I've had links in open tabs about the latest "misogyny in gaming culture" blowup for weeks now). It happens with fanfic, too; I start a story and then abandon it, halfway through or even as a final draft, after convincing myself that it's not worth posting. I haven't crossposted from Tumblr in forever (except for the fic WIP meme from yesterday), and I haven't reblogged a Tumblr meme or posted fic there in quite a while. A lack of creation leads to a lack of communication which leads to a lack of connection, and that causes a feeling of isolation that feeds back on itself.

The only way I've ever found to break out of these negative feedback loops is to swim upstream against them. Force myself to write even when I'm not inspired, to post even when I'm not 100% happy with the results, and so here I am, writing about this, and putting the post out for the world to see. At the very least, I need to notice this cycle while it's happening, if only to remind myself that it's not reality, it's just The Little Hater.

And The Little Hater is a liar.

Even when it doesn't feel like it.

*I wanted to link that post here, but going through my archives and trying to find it turned into a project that I was using to procrastinate writing this post, which is exactly one of the traps that The Little Hater likes to use against me. ;) So I stopped looking and got to writing; apologies to those of you for whom this is a partial repeat.
mintywolf: (summoner minty)
[personal profile] mintywolf

My FFX Let's Play resumes!

I had a really long tangent written about the Phantom of the Opera parallels and then realized that I had gone into wayyyyy too much detail and probably nobody would care so I ended up cutting the entire thing. But deep in my heart, I am still thinking musical theater thoughts about this game.

Fanfic WIP Meme

Sep. 15th, 2014 11:18 pm
owlmoose: (book - key)
[personal profile] owlmoose
I got tagged to do this over on Tumblr, and I figured I'd carry it over here, too.

The rules: Post one sentence, with no context, from all of your WIP. Then tag five other people to do the same. Except I'm not going to tag anyone, but I would encourage everyone to do it. :) It's good for pulling things out of the cobwebs.

Here are mine, for fairly generous definitions of "in progress" and "one sentence". Some of you might recognize some of these.

  • The candles burned out, one by one, as Teagan waited, alone in the parlor.

  • Varric checked the map. “I don’t know why I’m even looking at this,” he said, crumpling it up and sticking it back in his pack.

  • "Miss Leandra?" he said, eyebrows half up, his Starkhaven accent sharp. "And where are you going, alone, at this hour?"

  • "You wanted to fly, right? Here’s your chance."

  • "Beautiful and deadly," said Penelo. "At least we don’t have to worry about darkspawn."

  • It was, in fact, a man Yuna had never seen before, with dark blond hair, a sharp nose, and a sort of machina weapon slung over his shoulder. And unless she was mistaken, very much alive.

  • "I will return with Jack Sparrow in chains, or not at all," Alice replied, making a brief, stiff curtsey.
erika: (st aos: your mom (jtk))
[personal profile] erika
I can feel the rumble of the trains as I wait outside.

Dodo Chaplet by DeathByBacon (SFW)

Sep. 14th, 2014 06:55 pm
turlough: Victoria & the Doctor & Jamie looking cold on a wintry beach, Second Doctor adventure 'Fury from the Deep' ((dr who) companions)
[personal profile] turlough posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Classic Doctor Who
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Dodo Chaplet
Content Notes/Warnings: n/a
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: [ profile] deathbybacon

Why this piece is awesome: This is such a cute portrait of Dodo. I've always loved that outfit, it's so wonderfully 60s fab.

Link: Dodo Chaplet

Touhou Project "Fires of Hokkai"

Sep. 13th, 2014 09:37 pm
mintywolf: (Default)
[personal profile] mintywolf

I was going to post this on tumblr a little while ago because I thought AuronLu might enjoy it since she liked the other video I posted of the arrangement of "Bad Apple" with traditional Japanese instruments. (Same arranger and shamisen player as this one.)

Then all of a sudden, several months after I had posted it, that video suddenly went viral and while that sounds great, it pretty much ruined my tumblr experience for a solid week by flooding my dashboard with notes. (It has over 16,000 now and still going.) I installed an xkit widget to hide them but it takes a few seconds to kick in and doesn't work on mobile. I don't know how actual tumblr-famous people manage to use tumblr.

I didn't want that to happen again, and then I remembered that Dreamwidth is a thing, so here it is. :)

(And after all that I didn't even get that many new followers because Touhou isn't the usual subject of my blog. :/)

In other news, I've started playing Final Fantasy VII, at last and in earnest. I'm really enjoying it now that I have time to actually sit down with it without distractions, which was part of the problem I had getting into it before. I'm keeping two save files, one for playing with my cousins, currently chronicling the adventures of "Cumulus," "Arm Gun Man," "Knockout," and "Aeristh," and another one that I am playing by myself without any gratuitous silliness. (I don't know what happened to the save file we had where everyone was named after fresh produce, but there was one. If I ever do a second playthrough, all "let's play this game properly" rules are off and Eggplant and friends will probably make a glorious return.)

Giving a Hug by Gabbicoon (SFW)

Sep. 11th, 2014 06:31 pm
tdotbabs: (Peter:  Pleased)
[personal profile] tdotbabs posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Real Ghostbusters
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Peter Venkman, Janine Melnitz
Content Notes/Warnings:
Medium: Photoshop, SAI
Artist on DW/LJ: Gabbicoon
Artist Website/Gallery:
Why this piece is awesome: First off, Gabi here created the Real Ghostbusters characters. She designed them for the show! As such, Janine's looks were based on her IRL. Anyway, not only did Gabi create my favourite cartoon character ever, but she's turned into one of my best friends! She was kind enough to draw this picture for me when I was having a bad day. Needless to say, it cheered me up immensely. I returned the favour by colouring it for her. :)

Narnia: Green as Poison

Sep. 11th, 2014 09:04 pm
isabelquinn: (Stock - white flowers)
[personal profile] isabelquinn posting in [community profile] gensplosion
FANDOM: The Chronicles of Narnia
FIC LINK: Green as Poison
AUTHOR LINK: [ profile] ncfan
RATING/WARNING(S): General Audiences / No warnings
WIP?/WORD COUNT: Complete, 1314
MAIN CHARACTERS: The Lady of the Green Kirtle, Jadis

FIC SUMMARY: They tell her that when she was born, she clenched a snake in her hand.

RECCER'S NOTES: I'm rereading the Narnia books at the moment, and every time I read The Silver Chair I desperately want an origin story for the Lady of the Green Kirtle. This time I finally went searching for fic, and I hit the jackpot! I really love this fic, it's everything I was hoping an origin fic about this character would be. It takes the little things we know about her and her background (or that other characters have speculated about her) and builds them into a background story that is completely believable and fits beautifully into the context of that world.
dirty_diana: Hawkeye and Black Widow in Avengers film (clintasha)
[personal profile] dirty_diana posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe [Captain America]
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill
Content Notes/Warnings: canon-typical implied violence
Medium: digital
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: [ profile] ladyilena
Why this piece is awesome: One of my favourite things about fanart is getting to see a variety of concepts and interpretations on the canon brought visually to life. The idea here is "what if Natasha was the Winter Soldier", and it produces a really interesting retelling of a key scene from the film. The use of angles reads a bit like a film storyboard, and some great storytelling is done through the facial expressions.

"Who the hell is Natasha?"

Winter Soldier by yangngi [sfw]

Sep. 11th, 2014 12:42 am
dirty_diana: colored pencils sit in an empty latte cup. (Default)
[personal profile] dirty_diana posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe [Captain America]
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Bucky Barnes
Content Notes/Warnings: shirtlessness
Medium: digital
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: [ profile] yangngi
Why this piece is awesome: This month I thought I was going to focus on the great comedy that this fandom has, but I watched the Winter Soldier film recently and then fell into a vat of feels. The teddy bears are a call back to Marvel's A Babies vs. X-Babies, which is basically a canon excuse for cuteness and chibi. Bucky Bear is a furry mascot that many artists have embraced. On the surface it's a pretty simple concept but the artist has packed in lot of emotion.

Link: Winter Soldier

Adventures In Time 6 by Kumama (SFW)

Sep. 10th, 2014 06:20 pm
turlough: the Doctor in tartan tam-o'-shanter and scarf, Fourth Doctor adventure 'Terror of the Zygons' ((dr who) it's tom baker!)
[personal profile] turlough posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: Classic Doctor Who / Winnie-the-Pooh
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: The Fourth Doctor & Winnie-the-Pooh
Content Notes/Warnings: n/a
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: [ profile] kumama

Why this piece is awesome: I think this is the sweetest in this series of crossover works. It has the same sort of tranquil atmosphere as the books, with Pooh up on the bridge contemplating the floating stick completely undisturbed by the TARDIS arrival in the background. And I love the soft colouring and Pooh's thoughtful expression.

Link: Adventures In Time 6

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